Category: Cryptic Review

Posted on
by

Nostalgia is a funny thing.  Something will worm its way into your mind, and then you will start to see it everywhere.  The connection is often extrememly tednuous as well. Sure, sometimes itis obvious.  Sometimes you hear a Cyndi Lauper on the radio that reminds you of that scene in Goonies when you can see the video playing on the tv as they walk past.  Then you are thinking the rest of the day about the Fratellis chasing Rudy and his buddies thru caves to find One Eyed Willie’s treasure (heh).  (did you know that Sloth was in Ice Pirates?)  But other times, that song you heard on the radio, reminded you of a time when you were talking to someone that was telling you about a friend who really liked that song, but all you could think about was how uncomfortable the chairs that you were sitting in were and now your ass is starting to hurt.  And other times, there is no connection at all.  Which brings me to Short’s Brewing Company’s Beard of Zeus.  This beer should make me think of Anchorman, or The Magic Christian (check it out and you will forever after pronounce Zeus, zay-us).  Nope, this beer tastes like Emmet Otter’s Jug Band Christmas.  Go Figure.  Check out my cryptic review after the break. Continue reading →

Posted on
by

My brother used to have a poster on his wall called ship of fools (you can buy it here), depicting a group of ducks on a boat, singing and laughing away, blissfully unaware of the raging storm around them.  Somehow this beer gives off the feeling that I imagine those ducks have.  It feels like it knows what it is doing, and what it thinks it is supposed to taste like, but it isn’t working.  At least not the way it hopes to.  Instead there is a different feel and flavor coming out.  It is a good flavor, but it doesn’t feel intentional.  Another way to describe it, perhaps a clearer explanation(although probably not) can be found after the break.  Enjoy my cryptic review of Odd Side Ale’s Pineapple IPA. Continue reading →

Posted on
by

Sometimes you want to go…  Just had to get that out of the way.  Now this beer review has a little bit of background music going through your head.  I have to admit a healthy amount of skepticism when approaching a beer with such a big name licensing deal going on here.  It kind of stinks of macro beer dullness.  Not literally of course, I haven’t even opened the can at this point.  Upon opening opening the can of Norm’s Amber Ale (and expecting instead a poor imitation of beer)  I found that there was actually a fairly pleasing, if simple, flavor contained within.  I would say that what this beer really has going for it, is the element of surprise.  Check out my cryptic review after the break of Norm’s Amber Ale.
Cheers! (Sorry, i couldn’t help it)
Continue reading →

Posted on
by

I seem to be seeing more and more beers lately that have a very… two-sided personality. These binary beers, tend to take on two characteristics, that are not always as complementary as the seem like they should be.  It sometimes appears that the visual characteristics and the saporific characteristics are diametrically opposed.  The point being that age old adage of “not judging a book by its cover” has become more ubiquitous than I previously observed.  And now that I have used up all of my four dollar words, and even at least one five dollar word (my computer is insisting that saporific isn’t a word), It is time to advance you on to my review of the Brown Hound Dunkel Lager, from Frankenmuth Brewery.
Continue reading →

Posted on
by

I hope you are all Having a great 4th of July.  and I hope you are all celebrating with your favorite Michigan Craft Beer.  One of my choices today was from the Belgian brewery out of Grand Rapids, Brewery Vivant.  Standing tall and unique in Michigan with Belgian style beer in cans, Brewery Vivant is always in my field of view when I am looking for something new to try.  And today I decided that I would try their Belgian Dark Ale, the Undertaker.  A dark beer with the distinctive Belgian flavor, Undertaker stands out
tall in it’s field.  So check out my review after the break and have a fun and safe 4th of July. Continue reading →

Posted on
by

Today’s message is about two things. The great feeling of going out camping, and the importance of double-checking that the audio didn’t get screwed up in the video you just shot of yourself reviewing a beer whilst experiencing that nature. Oh, and the beer. Three things I guess. Mostly about the beer. But the audio problems are hard to ignore. But the beer is nice, so at least I’ve got that going for me. Check out my review below. Continue reading →

Posted on
by

Want to know a secret? Cryptic Review started as a way to make fun of beer and wind snobs.  It is true.  At my first beer festival it was decided that everytime one of my group had a beer we would have to explain how it tastes to everyone else using the most pretentious adjectives we could think of.  “Perpendicular”  was one of my favorites from that day.  New Holland Brewing was there, and it was their Dragon’s Milk that started my cryptic reviews.  Not that it was the first beer I had there, but it was because of New Holland’s talent for making beers that will knock you on your ass, just to get back up and get in line to have another.

The first time I had Black Tulip was just as eventful. or so I am told.

The Black Tulip is a Belgian Tripel, clocking in at 10.5% according to the bottle,  that they describe as “Mysterious, alluring and seductive, yet tantalizingly elusive; these are the storied characteristics of the Black Tulip.”  One way that I will describe it is simply as a beer that is dangerous for tasting the way it does while being as strong as it is. Another way I can describe it is in the video you will find below..
Continue reading →

Posted on
by

Death of A Contract Brewer LabelHave I mentioned yet how much I love this brewery.  Schmaltz Brewing Company has a couple of brewing labels under their umbrella.  You may have seen their Coney Island beers, but the flagship is the He’Brew The Chosen Beer line.  If you get a chance pick some up and while you are enjoying it (you will) be sure you read the whole label because they put plenty of thought into the packaging of their brews.

But that is the “in general”s, how about the specifics?  Despite how I may feel about this brewery, this beer in particular has a couple of words on it that tend to give me pause.  Black IPA.  This style of beer tends to taste pretty empty to me.  It could be just tongue confusion from having a dark beer taste like such a departure from what I am expecting, even though I know better, or I might just not like what most black IPAs taste like.  Not that they are all bad, there have been a few that have certainly hit the right balance of what I am expecting and what I am actually getting, and this beer is one of them.  Light and old, with a hint of a deeper story just under the surface.  check out my review after the break.

Continue reading →

Posted on
by

Tri City Brewing Loons Summer AleThere are certain days, when it it cool outside, and a great comfort is sitting in a warm spot, perhaps by a fire, with a dark, heavy, full bodied beer. And there are also those days in early spring, when the wind is cool, but the daylight warms you, when a sweet, light, flavorful beer is what you need.   And then there are other days, often in the summer, when it is hot, and the sun is shining down on you, and what you really need is something refreshing, easy to drink, that will cool you down and quench your thirst.  This beer is in that last category. Continue reading →

Posted on
by

stone sublimely self-tighteousMaybe I am a bad Michiganian   Michigander Mi..chi..gan…ite Northerner.  But I hate the winter.  I am already all set for March to come around and spring to start.  Some people will say, “Oh as long as it snows on Christmas, that is all the snow I need.”  That is close, but I don’t think that is even going far enough.  I am fine with mowing the lawn on Christmas morning.  So I will hold onto the warm weather for as long as I can, and when it is gone, I will find ways to try to bring it back.  Here is how I am bringing it back today.  I have some old videos from the summer here that I will be posting in a lame attempt at remembering the warmth that I am missing so much.  So follow me along to watch my cryptic review of Stone’s  Sublimely Self Righteous. Continue reading →